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Introduction Did not clearly states the chosen field/main topic The background information was weak The thesis statement is not indicated on the introduction. Its not clear in the introduction what your paper is all about. You also did not provide an overview of your paper in the introduction
Also you focus on women, remember that gender is both men and women In your bosy paragraphs, its not clear if your paper is about pay gaps, or acces to education, or promotion, or politics?
There is no conclusion
Citation: did not follow ASA format Did not meet the 3 academic references requirements Mechanics-ideas not well organized Submit